How did I get here?

This is a hard one. Everyone has a past, the lives our parents and grandparents lead shape our direction. Every Witch out there feels a thrill when they hear a story that is almost mystical from within their own line.

My father's grandmother was an astrologer who did a chart on the even of my father's birth, it said that he would have three great opportunities in his life to be a great success and that he needed to be careful as these chances would be fleeting...

My mother's grandmother was once arrested for reading tea leaves.

For me it was my mother's mother, who one year after thanksgiving dinner and the traditional game of Scabble, pulled out a book on the I-Ching. Suffice it to say, the family was up late that night. It left an impression, and afterwards before we left to go home the next day Grandma gave me a small oyster jar about a third of the way full with ashes. "These belonged to your great-grandmother Weaver, (who read tea leaves in parlors..) I want you to have them." I found out later that they were a portion of her cremains. I don't remember the I-Ching reading, but I remember Grandma Goggs and that jar of ashes. My mom has the jar, but later after Goggs passed, mom gave me a small mayo jar with a portion of Grandma's ashes and Grandma's jade bracelet (she wore it every day of her life) As well as a few other personal effects and pictures.

Grandma Weaver's ashes were gifted to me before I read my first Pagan book, at a time when I was only a little fascinated with the symbols in my Dad's Astrology books. But within a year of that night I was mixing herbs and tinctures after about two years I was making soaps and oils, Grandma Weaver's Ashes are why I read Edgar Cayce's works.

Many years from that time, I have read countless books and done my share of Tarot or Rune readings, performed rituals and helped a co-worker banish a malignant spirit. I talked about my faith every day, performed devotionals.

My best friend had her boyfriend move in with us, and he had no faith in anything. In fact he had a sort of hate and anti-faith that became poisonous and made our practice shift more towards secret, and finally it became almost a non-practice.

At his urging we moved from Utah to Pennsylvania, we lived in West York, by the fairgrounds. I was able to set up an altar in an armoire and had started getting involved in my faith again. There were no full scale rituals but I could meditate, light incense on my altar, work on my magical tools and write. It was starting to get better for us as they decided to be friends and not date anymore..

But my Father is a pretty major cornerstone to my spiritual growth, he had a heart attack and stroke right on Thanksgiving 2013, so I moved back to Utah (long story short) 2 moves that close together I lost a lot of my ritual supplies and so forth, which started my path stagnating.

I am really, really hoping to find my way. I have lost my path and feel like I'm wandering in a strange forest at night. I need a light in the darkness again.